miSt~

its been a long time since i last sign up here..

sorry..

i do forget the place that i love the most before..

forgive me for that,

well...

for overall..i grow up, but just a little bit..

cause i still couldn't put away the things that i suppose to

i finished my exams,big exams!!

the exam that will change my life...SPM..

talk about the future~

all my "friends" have found their path..

so frustrating to know that i'm still hagging around,

doing nothing!!

not even find a work,

or accomplish something that might give me some feeling of satisfaction,

have nothing to do,

so that would only be describe as the word "MIST"!!!!

but its good to finally came back here...

at least i can have a place to rest in peace...

no influence from others, or anyone else...

just be myself..

just be the one who i cant be when i was with everyone...

sometimes..

its good to be alone!!

bbA = mInE

well...at least today..im happy..BUT just for a few hour time..
talk about happy things,
i accompany the contestent of the buddishts society of our school to a competition...
one of our bba members is the leader of the team...so i and a few friends from bba...
go and give support(ohm!!)..and be the caleffe....hahaha
but we do haging out with a lot of happiness...
and thats the moment i escape from my world that cause me difficult to breathe...
we take our pictures, screaming like a group of crazy people as usual...
i hope that those moment will never ends...
im suddenly so upset when we are in our way home in the bus...
all the people keep gather around to take picture with the trophy...
we won 2 prices..for chung ling and BBA also get one...
everyone was so happy...but i suddenly turn upset
because i know that if i left this bus, im leaving the world that i love so much...
how did i wish that this bus will never reached it's end...
HAHAHAHA.....but i do felt so relief after the hug they gave me before everyone leave...
its so warm....although it just a simple hug...but i felt so energetic, happy and touch after that...
i will remember this feelings~i promise...
I will remember every feelings you all gave me...
i really wanted to say thank you for all bba members...
without you all.....my life is still in the darkness....
THANKS FOR BEING THE WARM LIGHT IN MY LIFE....
I LOVE YOU ALL~

Cruel..~

HAAHA...
its so funny when i think about myself and my life..
it seems that i didnt even write anything happy since the last time i sign in here,
so sorry...but i really need a place to express my feelings..
again and again, i try to deny that my life is meaningless...but whatever things i met....
it keeps reminding me that...i'm lonely..i'm alone...i'm just a girl that everyone dislike...
sometimes i do feel jealous for those famous girl in the school...
because they always around with friends..around with laugh...around with happiness...
i do look like a happy girl...a strong girl...and a girl that can handle everything on the outside...
But sometimes i do feel weak and helpless...and that time i do need supports...
i keep imagining that there are people around me...and i started to talk to myself..
i started to talk and to laugh with someone that are actually not exists...
HAha...funny right?
Ya...i admit it...but just cant control myself...
because by that way, i dont feel lonely..
by the way...
talk back to the examss...
its the worst things.....
STRESS STRESS STRESS.....
maybe it cause so many sad emotion to cover me...
so HURRY UP GO AWAY!!!!
BUT~~i know that my day dreaming started again...

LoV3sss..

today,im too dissapointed wif myself....i lose the event that im confident the most...
huh...but anyway,i try my best...and today is the first time i fall down during "string pulling"...huh
so ashamed with myself....BUT, i saw HIM...my SECRET....
the most thing i like him so much is his sporty face...i always looking at him when he was doing his competition...
his cool, his professional, his happy smile when he won the prizes..
his everyting and everything....i just realise i like those more that i think...
but i dont hope he know that...i just want to be a special friend for him...
so that i can always watch him from far....dont let he be alone...
Beside of my secret.....we take class pictures today....
we enjoy ourselves acting like a model taking pictures in every corner of the school...
really enjoy it...since that i had the chance to do the things that i always hope ....
we take beautiful pictures, stupid pictures, lovely pictures and alot...
the same things happen to all the form 5 students.....
everyone enjoy it so much...but the time given was too short....
we still having our pictures at the top of the "shit pool" in our school.....
hahahaha....but its so dangerous up there....i nearly fall down..huhuh...
but luckily i didnt...
huh....
want die already...i feel like the bones in my body had broken into pieces already....ahhaha
but my heart still very complete with the smile from my secret one....^^

TireD..*~*

today its a tired day...
dont know whether im tired because of the exam or the life i've been through///
sometimes i do feels like im having two personalities in my body...
altought people will say im ridiculous but thats the things happening to me...
i can be extremly happy just in a minute and be the opposite way in another second...
weird right??
yeah....
i think that too...
so i will try to keep the happy faNg out there and keep the sad FaNg inside...
Dont let her out>>>
But..
CAN I???
i hope that i can..but things always not happening in the way we want...
tIREd DaY....HEll TireD~

HuH~~

Huh~
Why should we as a students should spend almost all the time we have,
to keep eating and eating all those damned book!!!!!!
& splash everything out during the HACK EXAMS.......AHAHAHAAAHAHA......
wish to find a place to shout out everything...>>>
All these secret and stress in my HearT...
too wish to have someone to Share...
BUT......
NO HOPES MEANS NO DISSAPOINTMENT...
hahaha
still feeling stress and crazy....
but life need to go.....
so....KAMPATEH...

HappinezSs

wHoa~
actually secret and i had a long time didnt communicate...
at last, we spend our time together.....
but just a few second....HahahaHAHA////

But i found my HAppinese At that time...
the only moment i think that my life still have their meanings///
thanks to him,secret,i HAD a BEAUTIFUL night....
i lovez his smile, i lovez his cool, i lovez the strength and the power he gave me////
HoPE that ONE day we wiLL hAve a Chance to take our PIC together...
Remeber your smile that i lovez the most...
ALwaYs my Lov3, SECRET....